Interview or Interrogation?

Let me start by saying that I am broke right now. I have enough money to pay my rent and enough left over to think about eating. I've been sending my resume out, filling out applications and praying for financial deliverance (let the church say "times is hard!"). Ok, so, let me tell you about the most ridiculous interview that ever was.

I came across a description of the position in a posting online and the firm was accepting résumés and cover letters via email; I submitted my résumé and cover letter. Within a week, the firm replied to my submission saying that they were "impressed" with my résumé and that they would like for me to come in and interview. As quick as 1-2-3 we had set up a date and time for me to come in.

I live on Long Island, the firm is located in NYC. I took the Long Island Rail Road and the good ol' MTA subway system to get there. It cost me 2 hours in travel time, $29.07 in expenses and it was about 233 degrees outside, but I arrived at the office 20 minutes ahead of time. The receptionist showed me to the office of the attorney with whom I would be interviewing, we shook hands, introduced ourselves and took our respective seats.

The first thing he asked, after the introductory conversation was, "So, you're the one who's been to law school already?" It sounded like a friendly question so, I gleefully answered, "yes!" *pleasant smile* He went on to say that he really liked my résumé, everything looked good and that he "had" to meet me! Then he told me a little more about himself and his practice, explained what the position required on a daily basis and asked me if I had any questions for him. Everything was going so well that I didn't want to seem unenthusiastic by not asking any questions, so I asked him what he values most about his career. He said "blah-blah-blah, whomp-whomp-whomp" and I just knew he was going to ask me my availability next because what more was there to say??

"Yeah…I don't think this is going to work out...because you've already been to law school. It wouldn't make sense for me to hire you since you're just going to look for a job somewhere else eventually." That's what he had to add to the conversation. I assured him that it was not my intention to leave immediately or even within a few months. I told him that I was looking for a firm where I could learn and grow. That as much as I love my current job, I have been hoping to gain more experience. "Yeah…I don't think this is going to work out because, I mean, you don't have any experience working in a law firm, right?" This is what he asked me next…I was so confused! It's the first listed experience on my résumé, which I politely reminded him…he did read at my résumé, right? Then he asked me the kind of firm I worked at and I told him that it was an entertainment firm. "Oh, really? Well then why didn't they hire you?" Something about his tone was calling me a liar and I didn't like it one bit. I explained that I currently work there but it is only a part-time position and I am seeking full-time employment. He continued to tell me that the position was "really secretarial" and that there were "so many things" I would have to know how to do like request documents from people, talk to people on the phone and mail things, he asked me if I thought that was something I could handle. I told him that those were only some of the things that I do at my current job. So then he asks, again, "What kind of firm is it?" I told him, again and this time is response was "oh, huh, well, I used to do some entertainment work…had some pretty high-profile clients too. Basically, what I did was, if they were looking to buy or rent property or had any wills, trusts & estate matters, I would handle those things for them." That isn't entertainment work at all, that is real estate and wills, trusts & estates work. So, he fibbed to me for the sake of one-upping me? I don't even know how the interview made such a tragic turn, but it still hadn't reached its destination of ridiculousness. "I mean…like I said, I don't know if this is going to work out because this job is really secretarial. I mean, there are a lot of secretarial things I would need you to do and if you're not competent you wouldn't even be able to stay here. I don't like to do a lot of things myself, I like to stay busy with other things so I would need you to answer the phone, file things, type things. Can you even type?" Was he serious with this question? I'm really asking, could he have possibly been serious?

*sigh*

There was an awkward silence on my end filled with confusion and slight offense. I was shocked that he even thought to ask me that question. Who can't type in 2010? Who's been through college and law school and cannot type…and I don't want to hear anything about 80-90 year old people, people who've never used or owned computers, people with no fingers, none of that; you know what I'm saying…in 2010, you don't ask someone if they can type unless you're trying to say something, rude.

"….Yes….i can type, "I answered .

"How fast can you type?"

"About 65-70 words per minute, about 80 on a good day," was my insufficient response.

"So...about 55?" he asked in an a corrective tone and practically accusing me of dishonesty.

"No, not 55 at all. I type 65-70 words per minute."

"well, again, I don't know if this is going to work out but would you mind taking a typing test?"

"*Side eye* Sure."...I took the test, I was upset I only typed 65 wpm. At the end of it all, I smiled, thanked him for his time, and hoped he didn't call me. What was the point of that? Everything he asked about me was in my résumé. Everything he incorrectly assumed about me was accurately represented in my résumé. Everything that he decided to be impressed by in my résumé is exactly why he didn't want to hire me? I don't know what his issue was or what became his issue when I arrived for the interview, but I'm not going to worry myself trying to figure it out. I was so annoyed that I was tempted to write him a lengthy e-mail explaining to him that his conduct was unprofessional and inconsiderate, closing with an underlined "don't have me waste my money so that you can waste my time, sir!" I didn't do that though, I just settled for fussing about it to my mother, my best friend, four other people and writing this blog post. :- /